Gary Noesner spent more than three decades as a hostage crisis negotiator. Yeah, like real crazy Law & Order type stuff. But it’s what Gary’s good at.
After a siege went awry in Texas, Noesner took it upon himself to improve the whole program. At the core of this approach was a tool he thinks we all can benefit from and use in our everyday lives. Instead of turning to tactical strategies, he encouraged negotiation.
“How is hostage negotiation strategy relevant in my life?” you may ask. Valid question. Here’s how: Gary says active listening is key.
This means being empathetic and validating another person’s point of view, even if you don’t agree. This simple approach can calm someone down from emotion-based action into that of rational thought. And hey, science is on his side – MIT says ditto to this. Active listening “helps you gain more information, improve your understanding of other points of view, and work cooperatively with others.”
A favorite phrase of Gary’s is, “I understand how you feel.” It’s true, we all just wanna be understood.
Gary interviews at NPR:
